We are what we eat.

Food for thought.  Yes a little off the subject from where we yesterday. It's came to me! For so long I have done well with eating.  Results, happier, healthier me!  Well, over this holiday season, break from school for th kids and now this nasty weather I have found myself finding comfort in food. Blah!

Today I experienced a migraine which I havent had in months! Also, after reading over time and time again of the affects of gluten and recognizing these symptoms in myself as mood swings, irritability, headaches, joint pain etc. I have decide it is back to the grind!

For years I had suffered from migraines, depression, and IBS symptoms.  Migraines were credited to heredity and hormones, depression the stresses of life and IBS.... well, as my dad would say "flash shit attacks" not accredited to anything.  This my friends is NOT Normal!  I recall looking back on my childhood and always having gas, bloating and a rock feeling in my stomach. When you dont know any differently you think its  normal until you feel amazing!

So my journey began back in April 2013.  I decided it was time to make a BIG life change.  It was time to loose weight and be healthy!  I was 5'3" and 169lbs.  Tired achey, miserable!  I felt like I was 60 and I was only 32!  

I contacted my friend... Joined her accountability group, started drinking Shakeology and also started eating healthy!  My friend suggested I try gluten free which my OBGYN suggested a year before.  So I tried it!  With in 2 weeks the changes were miraculous and I didn't care to even look at anything with wheat again! 

Did you know that sneaky bastard is in everything!  It's in our food... Pretty much anything processed, in our laundry soap, dish soap, lipstick, makeup, shampoo, and tooth paste!  

Top most difficult issues with being gluten free for me is:

- People's opinion- Drives Me Bonkers!!!  

I think they think that I am doing this for attention or something.  No I have NOT been diagnosed with an illness, yet under my physicians suggestions I have chosen this diet.  I have experienced life changing experiences so I have chosen to stick by this (yet I still slip and eat junk and then feel like crap afterwards!). Did I mention that is has helped me loose 35lbs too... Hmmmm

- Prepping meals and eating in a bind.  

I am a busy mother like most women my age.  It's difficult and expensive to eat this way.  When you can not make carbs a part of your meal for a growing family keeping them full is difficult.  

I now have to plan ahead and the best thing I have done is go through my cabinets and completely remove anything processed and most everything with gluten.  While my family still eats bread (homemade only) the temptation is really not that bad for me.  Cakes, and other wheat products are not very common around here and pasta we buy is all made from corn and rice products so making a meal is very easy for us. 

Our meals typically have the following: 2 vegetables, a protein, and a potato or rice. Very satisfying and appealing to everyone and not very different for when we have company over. Yet, there is NO gluten. Now, eating in a bind or out is difficult I will agree and I dislike doing it!  

When it comes to fast food I typically go with a burger, no bun and no sauces. Just cheese and pickle.  Mostly though I go with a salad and a vingarette.  

I ask questions though and look at labels if possible.  Gluten hides in the most mysterious places it can even be in our sauces and dressings!  

So my tip ask, ask, ask, and if they don't know then I am sorry to tell you that what you want most likely does have gluten in it so eat out as little as possible and do your research before you do. 

Family events or holidays-  it sucks to be quiet honest.  

People bringing items and visiting family.  It's everywhere and those traditional recipes you loved as a child only make you feel like a pile of dung the next day.  The only solution I have to this issues is host your holidays or take what you can if possible.  I'm greatful most holidays are at my home so this is typically very easy for me and if you want Rolls with your dinner.... Well, you better bring them.  Haha!

I am very greatful that my friend has turned me on to this new lifestyle.  I truly believe that she was mean to.  I no longs take migraine meds, or depression meds, my joint and body aches are gone, I have wonderful energy, and I lost all the weight I wanted to!  A Complete Win for me!  

30 seconds............

I haven't posted in a long while and a lot has changed!  My how it has changed!  Today after a pretty stressful day and the kids have been home for most of the week, I am exhausted!  Thank you Martin Luther King Jr. for your observance day and the stinky weather that my kids can not get on schedule! UGH!.  So with a pounding headache and a mind full of frustration I headed upstairs.  Had the older kids watch the littler ones and I was determined to take a bath! 

I ran the water and sat there.  I smelled the scent of urine! Ugh! I just cleaned that darn toilet! Ha! I heard nothing but screams and yells, giggles and bouncing balls....sweet joy on a normal day but not today.  I felt guilty for having those feelings.  Sad. I slipped underneath the water and enjoyed the peaceful silence for what felt like an eternity but was literally only 30 seconds.  Why in the world am I feeling this way?! So many go without the joy of having one child and I have been blessed with 6!  It is moments like these that I do reflect on how blessed I am and how much I have been through as a parent.  Its a tough stinking job! 
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While I completely enjoy the role of a "Stay at home Mother"  I get so completely frustrated.  My husband will come home and say " I've worked all day, I paid all the bills, yada yada yada yada!  BOO!  Well, you want to know what I did today??  While it may not have paid the bills or made any amount of money this is what I did!  I made your kids breakfast, made sure they were ready for school, dressed them, took them to school, made a second trip back to the school to take the forgotten lunch box in the car, I grocery shopped with a one- year old on very tight budget for 8 people, changed multiple pants, did 6 loads of laundry, cleaned your whiskers out of the sink and wiped the urine off of each toilet seat in the house because some boys find it unnecessary to lift it! I did breakfast dishes, and lunch dishes, prepped dinner and then did those dishes.  I swept the floors and mopped ( yes I mop pretty much everyday), I picked the kids up from school ran them to their activities, did homework, baths and dinner... No I did not get the 6 baskets of folded laundry put away but your just damn lucky its clean! 

I love my husband with all my heart but sometimes I just get a little damned irritated!  HA! 

While writing my frustrations makes me feel a whole lot better I also do a lot of praying. It helps me get through the days, keeps the devil at bay and keeps me focused on what I need to be doing.  I am not the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, or friend but I do try to be and with the Lords guidance I do a heck of a better job for sure.

So today's Blog is basically just letting you know that I am so grateful for what the Lord has blessed my husband and I with but I too get frustrated, tired, and I feel a bit unappreciated at times.  I am human!  I love my family with everything I am and have.. I just sometimes need a stinking dunk in the tub to reflect.  Just a few minutes of silence.  Just maybe, for my children to listen to me the first time I speak to them and for my husband to smile and say  to me "I love you even though you are in a bad mood."  Gosh it feels so great to write this down.  Makes me feel so much better!!  I am looking that tomorrow I will be in a better mood.  Its the weekend!  The kids will be home!!!  Yet, they will be at school tomorrow and I am determined to get my happy pants on and enjoy them!!  I am allowed to have one crabby day once in a while Right??

Jhenner

SO much has changed since the last time I blogged.  Jhenner is home, happy and healthy!! he is such a wonderful boy!  So small and simply adorable!  He has captured the hearts of everyone in our family.  The children are unbelieveable with him. 

All I want for Christmas is a healthy baby!

December 21, 2012

Last night I sat with Jhenner and as a Mom felt like he was making great strides.  Heisler chest was lifting, his breathing slowed, his stats (from the monitor) were looking good.  This morning he was scheduled for an X-ray.  Results still unchanged.  Doctors report:  he's not getting any worse just staying the same.
I went back to the room to rear and at 3 am was woke by the nurse telling me and my husband we needed to get our things and move outbid the room because they needed or for another delivery.
I am getting so unbearably frustrated!  I'm trying, every time I get angry to turn to The Lord for forgiveness and comfort.  This is very rough.
My husbands back in town tying up loose ends with work.  Trying to finish up Christmas shopping. I feel so helpless.  He's trying to be strong but I know its difficult for him too.
He's got to be extra strong for me and for Jhenner and for all the other kids.

Every time I get the feeling of anxiety ornlacknof control, sadness, and anger.  I turn to The Lord.
He is the only way I am going to survive this.
I'm very thankful for all the prayer warriors out there praying for me and my baby.
"God please send your angels of healing to my baby Jhenner. Please give him strength and bring strength and comfort to Jeremy and I".

We are Now Blessed with SIX!

It's December 20th 2012
Two days ago, December 18th 2012 at 12:45pm this Mommy and Daddy was blessed with a beautiful baby boy!
 Jhenner Jeremy Walker 7.5lbs 5oz 21in long.
Now we are Blessed With Six!

After delivery I held Mr. Jhenner for about 30 seconds.  They then took him from me and immediately took him to the nursery.  He was having difficulty breathing.
With all the tests we have found out that he has fluid on his lungs.  Waiting for results to see if the cultures come back positive.  He was immediately started on IV antibiotics and fluids.  He's receiving nutrition via IV also.

X-rays have indicated that he has fluid on his lungs.  We are currently waiting on his cultures to come back to see if  they are positive for pneumonia.  He is being treated a if he does have it tho.  To get ahead of the game.  We are looking at a total of 7 days of IV treatment.  Praying that everything goes as planned with positive results.  He has so much love to come home to.

This has been a very rough time for me and my husband.  It's so difficult to see such a little helpless person in such distress.  Not being able to be comforted and held by his Mommy and Daddy.

Now I sit here in the nursery and watch as my baby boy is hooked to IV tubes and monitors.  Praying every few minutes for his recovery.
"Dear Heavenly Father, most Gracious God, please send down your angels of healing to help my baby boy!"

His breathing doesn't seem as labored.  As long as his surroundings are calm and quiet everything seems to be staying stable.

Please join with me "Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.  Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.  Amen!"

Gosh it's so hard to be a Mom!  ❤

Crazy Love

There has been so much happening in the last few months that I have neglected to write. 
So hold on tight!!! Here it goes!!


Its September 6th, 2012

I am now pregnant with our 6th lovely miracle!  Due December 25, 2012

 We have moved to the small little town of Morrisonville.  To a large house that needed and still needs lots of TLC. 

Let see, we moved here in May and I found out after living here 5 days that I was expecting!  Very much a surprise to Jeremy and I but VERY much welcomed.  We were both VERY excited and I extremely nervous. 
Having 5 healthy children really makes me appreciate each of them and how lucky we are.  Now, God has honored us with the pregnancy of baby number 6!!  How truly blessed we are!!

So today of all days I am reflecting back.  Reflecting back to the last 10 years.  Why you ask?  Why today?  Well, tomorrow Jeremy and I have been married 10 years.  I cry out of honor, respect, love, the frustrations and the gratitude for these 10 years.  I cant believe it!! 
Geesh it's been a ride!! 

I look back on the little things as we started that seemed so big that are now minor.  I look back at where we came from:  We started in a 2 bedroom little shack on his grandfather's property where we couldn't even afford to pay the electric and gas.  I hated it there but I knew it was ours, it was home.  I was going to cosmetology school and waitressing and Jeremy was working at a factory in Taylorville.  We then moved to a little house on Franklin Street.  I started working at an area salon and at that time Jeremy started working for a construction company.

We married 9 months after Jhett was born on September 7th, 2002.  I was expecting our 2nd child already.  No, it was not the storybook relationship but that didn't matter to us.
We didn't have a storybook engagement either and to be honest it kinda worried me. 
It was lets get married .  We are expecting baby number 2 so lets "shit or get off the pot." 
So we did it!  Planned the wedding in 2 short weeks.  The budget was limited,but I will tell you that it was the most beautiful thing I remember!!
Ivory and black with a hint of red were the colors.  I loved it!
I remember before the wedding, my dad grabbing my hands from across the table in the church hall crying his eyes out.  He balled so hard walking me down the isle that I thought he wasn't going to make it.  Then, I saw him, My husband!  Holding my beautiful 9 month old boy and I realized that was it!  They were my future!  They were my everything!
We have laughed and cried.  We have hated each other.  Love seems stronger than hate though in this situation.  We have both grown so much over the past 10 years.  We have experienced disappointments and joys.  The joys have out numbered the disappointments.  This again is not a storybook relationship or life but its ours. We are so blessed to have each other and these 5 almost 6 wonderful children. 
I have to actually say that we probably argue a lot!  More than the normal couple.  I blame it on both of us being stubborn. We always vow to make up and its worth it.  This family is worth it.  We may not be rich, have the nicest of material things, have the perfect marriage, best behaved children  or yadayadayada,but we have each other and our children and no one can take that from us.
The minute that I think my husband can piss me off the most (like about 20 minutes ago)  he then sends the kids in with flowers (nothing fancy because I hate fancy flowers!  especially roses)   and a card. IF that wasn't enough to make me cry! Reading the card did too and then this!  This special message inside: I considered writing it down for you to read... then I thought twice. Its personal. Its him and I.  So, as you can see He can piss me off one second and sweep me off my feet the next.  He loves me despite my faults and I love him the same way.  We would do anything for each other and can depend on each other for anything.  Gosh!! I am so darn lucky!!    I hope my kids learn unconditional love.    

Promise.....

Well, I have received overwhelming response to No More!  Happiness Only!  Although, silly me!  Got the date wrong!  As you can tell I like to do my blogging late at night so I thought that is was the following day.  It was not.  I am a mother of 5 children and this is my ME time...Things are too chaotic during the day.  Its hard enough to keep Jhude, 3 in the house for longer than 10 minutes while it is nice let alone long enough for me to express my thoughts.  One thing you will find out from reading my blog is that I am VERY overprotective!

I remember when I found out that I was pregnant my father was a little nervous we will say... Yes nervous.  I was a 20 year old beauty school student living with her sweet heart.  Jeremy and I were SUPER excited and  broke!  Oh, I look back on how broke we were and I giggle how far we have made it.  Anyway ( My ADD is getting in my way of getting to the point)  I went to my father with my mother by my side ( I just couldn't do it!  so she told him) and his response was worse than I expected.  Well, my father is who I always look to for advice and acceptance. He was disappointed! I cried and cried.  I seriously disappointed my father!  Now I know you are thinking "What about her mother?"  Right?  Well, you have to understand something, my mom is more like my best friend.  I can tell her anything.  Yes I want to respect her and have her as a parent but as I have gotten older things are just different.  I was one of  "Daddy's Little Girls"  So after talking to my Daddy ( yes I still call him that!)  I realized he was not disappointed he was just NERVOUS and of course a little sad! 

I was his first born, first daughter, and my life and his was flashing before his eyes.  I was still his baby,  now I was having a baby.  There was no stability in my life as a job other than the little waitress job I went to and beauty school.  Jeremy and I did have a little home we rented from his grandparents and heck I cant even remember where he worked at the time.  He wasn't very fond of Jeremy ( I do know that) but mainly he was concerned about how involved he would be (Jer and I were not married).  The one thing I remember so clearly him saying to me.  " Amanda, I have raised you, I am not raising your children, this is a BIG responsibility.  I really want you to think about this." 

I thought to myself.  What is he possibly suggesting??  He wasn't, he just really wanted me to THINK.  I vowed to him that day that I would be the best parent I could be and that I would not just leave my children for fun and activities ( I am not stating that parents can not have fun, i am saying the every weekend going out stuff was not going to happen... you have to remember I wasn't even 21 yet)  and I was going to LOVE this baby with everything I had!  I would do everything to make him/her happy, safe, and loved. = the OVERPROTECTIVE part.  JHETT was born in November 2001 and forever changed every member of my family's lives.  He also is the twinkle in his Papa's eye. 

My parents have helped me and my husband over the last 18 months is raising our children while I had that dreadful job.  I am so thankful for the BOTH of them!! 

Mom, I know that I didn't speak much of you during this blog but I want you to know that I love you VERY much!  When I told my Mom the NEWS, she hugged me and kissed me and said " Everything is going to be GREAT"  Then she went shopping!  LOL!  She bought herself a ring....its her "Jhett RING"  A beautiful contemporary style sterling silver ring with a large Mother of Pearl in the center.  Someday I will give that to his wife... If she will allow me too...( I know you will) ;)