30 seconds............

I haven't posted in a long while and a lot has changed!  My how it has changed!  Today after a pretty stressful day and the kids have been home for most of the week, I am exhausted!  Thank you Martin Luther King Jr. for your observance day and the stinky weather that my kids can not get on schedule! UGH!.  So with a pounding headache and a mind full of frustration I headed upstairs.  Had the older kids watch the littler ones and I was determined to take a bath! 

I ran the water and sat there.  I smelled the scent of urine! Ugh! I just cleaned that darn toilet! Ha! I heard nothing but screams and yells, giggles and bouncing balls....sweet joy on a normal day but not today.  I felt guilty for having those feelings.  Sad. I slipped underneath the water and enjoyed the peaceful silence for what felt like an eternity but was literally only 30 seconds.  Why in the world am I feeling this way?! So many go without the joy of having one child and I have been blessed with 6!  It is moments like these that I do reflect on how blessed I am and how much I have been through as a parent.  Its a tough stinking job! 
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While I completely enjoy the role of a "Stay at home Mother"  I get so completely frustrated.  My husband will come home and say " I've worked all day, I paid all the bills, yada yada yada yada!  BOO!  Well, you want to know what I did today??  While it may not have paid the bills or made any amount of money this is what I did!  I made your kids breakfast, made sure they were ready for school, dressed them, took them to school, made a second trip back to the school to take the forgotten lunch box in the car, I grocery shopped with a one- year old on very tight budget for 8 people, changed multiple pants, did 6 loads of laundry, cleaned your whiskers out of the sink and wiped the urine off of each toilet seat in the house because some boys find it unnecessary to lift it! I did breakfast dishes, and lunch dishes, prepped dinner and then did those dishes.  I swept the floors and mopped ( yes I mop pretty much everyday), I picked the kids up from school ran them to their activities, did homework, baths and dinner... No I did not get the 6 baskets of folded laundry put away but your just damn lucky its clean! 

I love my husband with all my heart but sometimes I just get a little damned irritated!  HA! 

While writing my frustrations makes me feel a whole lot better I also do a lot of praying. It helps me get through the days, keeps the devil at bay and keeps me focused on what I need to be doing.  I am not the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, or friend but I do try to be and with the Lords guidance I do a heck of a better job for sure.

So today's Blog is basically just letting you know that I am so grateful for what the Lord has blessed my husband and I with but I too get frustrated, tired, and I feel a bit unappreciated at times.  I am human!  I love my family with everything I am and have.. I just sometimes need a stinking dunk in the tub to reflect.  Just a few minutes of silence.  Just maybe, for my children to listen to me the first time I speak to them and for my husband to smile and say  to me "I love you even though you are in a bad mood."  Gosh it feels so great to write this down.  Makes me feel so much better!!  I am looking that tomorrow I will be in a better mood.  Its the weekend!  The kids will be home!!!  Yet, they will be at school tomorrow and I am determined to get my happy pants on and enjoy them!!  I am allowed to have one crabby day once in a while Right??