December 21, 2012
Last night I sat with Jhenner and as a Mom felt like he was making great strides. Heisler chest was lifting, his breathing slowed, his stats (from the monitor) were looking good. This morning he was scheduled for an X-ray. Results still unchanged. Doctors report: he's not getting any worse just staying the same.
I went back to the room to rear and at 3 am was woke by the nurse telling me and my husband we needed to get our things and move outbid the room because they needed or for another delivery.
I am getting so unbearably frustrated! I'm trying, every time I get angry to turn to The Lord for forgiveness and comfort. This is very rough.
My husbands back in town tying up loose ends with work. Trying to finish up Christmas shopping. I feel so helpless. He's trying to be strong but I know its difficult for him too.
He's got to be extra strong for me and for Jhenner and for all the other kids.
Every time I get the feeling of anxiety ornlacknof control, sadness, and anger. I turn to The Lord.
He is the only way I am going to survive this.
I'm very thankful for all the prayer warriors out there praying for me and my baby.
"God please send your angels of healing to my baby Jhenner. Please give him strength and bring strength and comfort to Jeremy and I".
Friday, December 21, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
We are Now Blessed with SIX!
It's December 20th 2012
Two days ago, December 18th 2012 at 12:45pm this Mommy and Daddy was blessed with a beautiful baby boy!
Jhenner Jeremy Walker 7.5lbs 5oz 21in long.
Now we are Blessed With Six!
After delivery I held Mr. Jhenner for about 30 seconds. They then took him from me and immediately took him to the nursery. He was having difficulty breathing.
With all the tests we have found out that he has fluid on his lungs. Waiting for results to see if the cultures come back positive. He was immediately started on IV antibiotics and fluids. He's receiving nutrition via IV also.
X-rays have indicated that he has fluid on his lungs. We are currently waiting on his cultures to come back to see if they are positive for pneumonia. He is being treated a if he does have it tho. To get ahead of the game. We are looking at a total of 7 days of IV treatment. Praying that everything goes as planned with positive results. He has so much love to come home to.
This has been a very rough time for me and my husband. It's so difficult to see such a little helpless person in such distress. Not being able to be comforted and held by his Mommy and Daddy.
Now I sit here in the nursery and watch as my baby boy is hooked to IV tubes and monitors. Praying every few minutes for his recovery.
"Dear Heavenly Father, most Gracious God, please send down your angels of healing to help my baby boy!"
His breathing doesn't seem as labored. As long as his surroundings are calm and quiet everything seems to be staying stable.
Please join with me "Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen!"
Gosh it's so hard to be a Mom! ❤
Two days ago, December 18th 2012 at 12:45pm this Mommy and Daddy was blessed with a beautiful baby boy!
Jhenner Jeremy Walker 7.5lbs 5oz 21in long.
Now we are Blessed With Six!
After delivery I held Mr. Jhenner for about 30 seconds. They then took him from me and immediately took him to the nursery. He was having difficulty breathing.
With all the tests we have found out that he has fluid on his lungs. Waiting for results to see if the cultures come back positive. He was immediately started on IV antibiotics and fluids. He's receiving nutrition via IV also.
X-rays have indicated that he has fluid on his lungs. We are currently waiting on his cultures to come back to see if they are positive for pneumonia. He is being treated a if he does have it tho. To get ahead of the game. We are looking at a total of 7 days of IV treatment. Praying that everything goes as planned with positive results. He has so much love to come home to.
This has been a very rough time for me and my husband. It's so difficult to see such a little helpless person in such distress. Not being able to be comforted and held by his Mommy and Daddy.
Now I sit here in the nursery and watch as my baby boy is hooked to IV tubes and monitors. Praying every few minutes for his recovery.
"Dear Heavenly Father, most Gracious God, please send down your angels of healing to help my baby boy!"
His breathing doesn't seem as labored. As long as his surroundings are calm and quiet everything seems to be staying stable.
Please join with me "Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen!"
Gosh it's so hard to be a Mom! ❤
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Crazy Love
There has been so much happening in the last few months that I have neglected to write.
So hold on tight!!! Here it goes!!
Its September 6th, 2012
I am now pregnant with our 6th lovely miracle! Due December 25, 2012
We have moved to the small little town of Morrisonville. To a large house that needed and still needs lots of TLC.
Let see, we moved here in May and I found out after living here 5 days that I was expecting! Very much a surprise to Jeremy and I but VERY much welcomed. We were both VERY excited and I extremely nervous.
Having 5 healthy children really makes me appreciate each of them and how lucky we are. Now, God has honored us with the pregnancy of baby number 6!! How truly blessed we are!!
So today of all days I am reflecting back. Reflecting back to the last 10 years. Why you ask? Why today? Well, tomorrow Jeremy and I have been married 10 years. I cry out of honor, respect, love, the frustrations and the gratitude for these 10 years. I cant believe it!!
Geesh it's been a ride!!
I look back on the little things as we started that seemed so big that are now minor. I look back at where we came from: We started in a 2 bedroom little shack on his grandfather's property where we couldn't even afford to pay the electric and gas. I hated it there but I knew it was ours, it was home. I was going to cosmetology school and waitressing and Jeremy was working at a factory in Taylorville. We then moved to a little house on Franklin Street. I started working at an area salon and at that time Jeremy started working for a construction company.
We married 9 months after Jhett was born on September 7th, 2002. I was expecting our 2nd child already. No, it was not the storybook relationship but that didn't matter to us.
We didn't have a storybook engagement either and to be honest it kinda worried me.
It was lets get married . We are expecting baby number 2 so lets "shit or get off the pot."
So we did it! Planned the wedding in 2 short weeks. The budget was limited,but I will tell you that it was the most beautiful thing I remember!!
Ivory and black with a hint of red were the colors. I loved it!
I remember before the wedding, my dad grabbing my hands from across the table in the church hall crying his eyes out. He balled so hard walking me down the isle that I thought he wasn't going to make it. Then, I saw him, My husband! Holding my beautiful 9 month old boy and I realized that was it! They were my future! They were my everything!
We have laughed and cried. We have hated each other. Love seems stronger than hate though in this situation. We have both grown so much over the past 10 years. We have experienced disappointments and joys. The joys have out numbered the disappointments. This again is not a storybook relationship or life but its ours. We are so blessed to have each other and these 5 almost 6 wonderful children.
I have to actually say that we probably argue a lot! More than the normal couple. I blame it on both of us being stubborn. We always vow to make up and its worth it. This family is worth it. We may not be rich, have the nicest of material things, have the perfect marriage, best behaved children or yadayadayada,but we have each other and our children and no one can take that from us.
The minute that I think my husband can piss me off the most (like about 20 minutes ago) he then sends the kids in with flowers (nothing fancy because I hate fancy flowers! especially roses) and a card. IF that wasn't enough to make me cry! Reading the card did too and then this! This special message inside: I considered writing it down for you to read... then I thought twice. Its personal. Its him and I. So, as you can see He can piss me off one second and sweep me off my feet the next. He loves me despite my faults and I love him the same way. We would do anything for each other and can depend on each other for anything. Gosh!! I am so darn lucky!! I hope my kids learn unconditional love.
So hold on tight!!! Here it goes!!
Its September 6th, 2012
I am now pregnant with our 6th lovely miracle! Due December 25, 2012
We have moved to the small little town of Morrisonville. To a large house that needed and still needs lots of TLC.
Let see, we moved here in May and I found out after living here 5 days that I was expecting! Very much a surprise to Jeremy and I but VERY much welcomed. We were both VERY excited and I extremely nervous.
Having 5 healthy children really makes me appreciate each of them and how lucky we are. Now, God has honored us with the pregnancy of baby number 6!! How truly blessed we are!!
So today of all days I am reflecting back. Reflecting back to the last 10 years. Why you ask? Why today? Well, tomorrow Jeremy and I have been married 10 years. I cry out of honor, respect, love, the frustrations and the gratitude for these 10 years. I cant believe it!!
Geesh it's been a ride!!
I look back on the little things as we started that seemed so big that are now minor. I look back at where we came from: We started in a 2 bedroom little shack on his grandfather's property where we couldn't even afford to pay the electric and gas. I hated it there but I knew it was ours, it was home. I was going to cosmetology school and waitressing and Jeremy was working at a factory in Taylorville. We then moved to a little house on Franklin Street. I started working at an area salon and at that time Jeremy started working for a construction company.
We married 9 months after Jhett was born on September 7th, 2002. I was expecting our 2nd child already. No, it was not the storybook relationship but that didn't matter to us.
We didn't have a storybook engagement either and to be honest it kinda worried me.
It was lets get married . We are expecting baby number 2 so lets "shit or get off the pot."
So we did it! Planned the wedding in 2 short weeks. The budget was limited,but I will tell you that it was the most beautiful thing I remember!!
Ivory and black with a hint of red were the colors. I loved it!
I remember before the wedding, my dad grabbing my hands from across the table in the church hall crying his eyes out. He balled so hard walking me down the isle that I thought he wasn't going to make it. Then, I saw him, My husband! Holding my beautiful 9 month old boy and I realized that was it! They were my future! They were my everything!
We have laughed and cried. We have hated each other. Love seems stronger than hate though in this situation. We have both grown so much over the past 10 years. We have experienced disappointments and joys. The joys have out numbered the disappointments. This again is not a storybook relationship or life but its ours. We are so blessed to have each other and these 5 almost 6 wonderful children.
I have to actually say that we probably argue a lot! More than the normal couple. I blame it on both of us being stubborn. We always vow to make up and its worth it. This family is worth it. We may not be rich, have the nicest of material things, have the perfect marriage, best behaved children or yadayadayada,but we have each other and our children and no one can take that from us.
The minute that I think my husband can piss me off the most (like about 20 minutes ago) he then sends the kids in with flowers (nothing fancy because I hate fancy flowers! especially roses) and a card. IF that wasn't enough to make me cry! Reading the card did too and then this! This special message inside: I considered writing it down for you to read... then I thought twice. Its personal. Its him and I. So, as you can see He can piss me off one second and sweep me off my feet the next. He loves me despite my faults and I love him the same way. We would do anything for each other and can depend on each other for anything. Gosh!! I am so darn lucky!! I hope my kids learn unconditional love.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Promise.....
Well, I have received overwhelming response to No More! Happiness Only! Although, silly me! Got the date wrong! As you can tell I like to do my blogging late at night so I thought that is was the following day. It was not. I am a mother of 5 children and this is my ME time...Things are too chaotic during the day. Its hard enough to keep Jhude, 3 in the house for longer than 10 minutes while it is nice let alone long enough for me to express my thoughts. One thing you will find out from reading my blog is that I am VERY overprotective!
I remember when I found out that I was pregnant my father was a little nervous we will say... Yes nervous. I was a 20 year old beauty school student living with her sweet heart. Jeremy and I were SUPER excited and broke! Oh, I look back on how broke we were and I giggle how far we have made it. Anyway ( My ADD is getting in my way of getting to the point) I went to my father with my mother by my side ( I just couldn't do it! so she told him) and his response was worse than I expected. Well, my father is who I always look to for advice and acceptance. He was disappointed! I cried and cried. I seriously disappointed my father! Now I know you are thinking "What about her mother?" Right? Well, you have to understand something, my mom is more like my best friend. I can tell her anything. Yes I want to respect her and have her as a parent but as I have gotten older things are just different. I was one of "Daddy's Little Girls" So after talking to my Daddy ( yes I still call him that!) I realized he was not disappointed he was just NERVOUS and of course a little sad!
I was his first born, first daughter, and my life and his was flashing before his eyes. I was still his baby, now I was having a baby. There was no stability in my life as a job other than the little waitress job I went to and beauty school. Jeremy and I did have a little home we rented from his grandparents and heck I cant even remember where he worked at the time. He wasn't very fond of Jeremy ( I do know that) but mainly he was concerned about how involved he would be (Jer and I were not married). The one thing I remember so clearly him saying to me. " Amanda, I have raised you, I am not raising your children, this is a BIG responsibility. I really want you to think about this."
I thought to myself. What is he possibly suggesting?? He wasn't, he just really wanted me to THINK. I vowed to him that day that I would be the best parent I could be and that I would not just leave my children for fun and activities ( I am not stating that parents can not have fun, i am saying the every weekend going out stuff was not going to happen... you have to remember I wasn't even 21 yet) and I was going to LOVE this baby with everything I had! I would do everything to make him/her happy, safe, and loved. = the OVERPROTECTIVE part. JHETT was born in November 2001 and forever changed every member of my family's lives. He also is the twinkle in his Papa's eye.
My parents have helped me and my husband over the last 18 months is raising our children while I had that dreadful job. I am so thankful for the BOTH of them!!
Mom, I know that I didn't speak much of you during this blog but I want you to know that I love you VERY much! When I told my Mom the NEWS, she hugged me and kissed me and said " Everything is going to be GREAT" Then she went shopping! LOL! She bought herself a ring....its her "Jhett RING" A beautiful contemporary style sterling silver ring with a large Mother of Pearl in the center. Someday I will give that to his wife... If she will allow me too...( I know you will) ;)
I remember when I found out that I was pregnant my father was a little nervous we will say... Yes nervous. I was a 20 year old beauty school student living with her sweet heart. Jeremy and I were SUPER excited and broke! Oh, I look back on how broke we were and I giggle how far we have made it. Anyway ( My ADD is getting in my way of getting to the point) I went to my father with my mother by my side ( I just couldn't do it! so she told him) and his response was worse than I expected. Well, my father is who I always look to for advice and acceptance. He was disappointed! I cried and cried. I seriously disappointed my father! Now I know you are thinking "What about her mother?" Right? Well, you have to understand something, my mom is more like my best friend. I can tell her anything. Yes I want to respect her and have her as a parent but as I have gotten older things are just different. I was one of "Daddy's Little Girls" So after talking to my Daddy ( yes I still call him that!) I realized he was not disappointed he was just NERVOUS and of course a little sad!
I was his first born, first daughter, and my life and his was flashing before his eyes. I was still his baby, now I was having a baby. There was no stability in my life as a job other than the little waitress job I went to and beauty school. Jeremy and I did have a little home we rented from his grandparents and heck I cant even remember where he worked at the time. He wasn't very fond of Jeremy ( I do know that) but mainly he was concerned about how involved he would be (Jer and I were not married). The one thing I remember so clearly him saying to me. " Amanda, I have raised you, I am not raising your children, this is a BIG responsibility. I really want you to think about this."
I thought to myself. What is he possibly suggesting?? He wasn't, he just really wanted me to THINK. I vowed to him that day that I would be the best parent I could be and that I would not just leave my children for fun and activities ( I am not stating that parents can not have fun, i am saying the every weekend going out stuff was not going to happen... you have to remember I wasn't even 21 yet) and I was going to LOVE this baby with everything I had! I would do everything to make him/her happy, safe, and loved. = the OVERPROTECTIVE part. JHETT was born in November 2001 and forever changed every member of my family's lives. He also is the twinkle in his Papa's eye.
My parents have helped me and my husband over the last 18 months is raising our children while I had that dreadful job. I am so thankful for the BOTH of them!!
Mom, I know that I didn't speak much of you during this blog but I want you to know that I love you VERY much! When I told my Mom the NEWS, she hugged me and kissed me and said " Everything is going to be GREAT" Then she went shopping! LOL! She bought herself a ring....its her "Jhett RING" A beautiful contemporary style sterling silver ring with a large Mother of Pearl in the center. Someday I will give that to his wife... If she will allow me too...( I know you will) ;)
Monday, March 19, 2012
No more! Happiness only!
May 2010 was my last blog. I have been inspired lately by my many friends who have taken up this activity. It is a wonderful expression outlet so IM BACK!
The past 18 months have been the roughest time for me. I started my new job and priorities shifted. The ideas that I had for my family flew right out the door. Chaos struck our lives. Granit, we had more money, but I ask, "is it worth it?". My husband was stressed, I was depressed, my kids we behaving erratically and MY FAMILY was missing in action!
I missed FIRSTS! I cry at the thought of it! Is that me being selfish or just a loving parent? Jhia's first day of school missed for training. I observed through pictures. Jhak's first day of pre-k also viewed through pictures. For those of you that know me. That is NEVER what I wanted as a parent. I am hands on and completely involved. I missed parties, races, baseball games, dancing, masses and school programs and much more!
New years eve 2011 I spent in a tower ringing in the new year ALONE....crying. This is not the life for me. Only having this JOB for 4 months at that time....I KNEW I was not cut out for this.
This Christmas 2o12 was the first time I missed Christmas Eve at my husbands Grandmas in 13 years we have been together. That was it! I vowed to myself that I would not be at this profession very much longer. I WOULD NOT MISS ANOTHER SPECIAL EVENT!
It's March 20th, 2012, Iam happy to state that I officially put my 2 week notice in following my 6 week medical leave. Being home for the previous 6 weeks did it! Less stress around the home. I was actually having more patience and smiling, kids were happy and still being ornery but the feeling at home was much more enjoyable. My husband even though he hates to admit it was happier and able to focus on his business instead of juggling everything alone.
Things won't be easy I know life is not a piece of cake BUT I can do without the extras but I can't do without my family. Faith in the Lord our GOD, in my husband, in myself, and in my kids is all I need! Oh, and Love! I got this!
God bless!
Amanda <3
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)