Promise.....

Well, I have received overwhelming response to No More!  Happiness Only!  Although, silly me!  Got the date wrong!  As you can tell I like to do my blogging late at night so I thought that is was the following day.  It was not.  I am a mother of 5 children and this is my ME time...Things are too chaotic during the day.  Its hard enough to keep Jhude, 3 in the house for longer than 10 minutes while it is nice let alone long enough for me to express my thoughts.  One thing you will find out from reading my blog is that I am VERY overprotective!

I remember when I found out that I was pregnant my father was a little nervous we will say... Yes nervous.  I was a 20 year old beauty school student living with her sweet heart.  Jeremy and I were SUPER excited and  broke!  Oh, I look back on how broke we were and I giggle how far we have made it.  Anyway ( My ADD is getting in my way of getting to the point)  I went to my father with my mother by my side ( I just couldn't do it!  so she told him) and his response was worse than I expected.  Well, my father is who I always look to for advice and acceptance. He was disappointed! I cried and cried.  I seriously disappointed my father!  Now I know you are thinking "What about her mother?"  Right?  Well, you have to understand something, my mom is more like my best friend.  I can tell her anything.  Yes I want to respect her and have her as a parent but as I have gotten older things are just different.  I was one of  "Daddy's Little Girls"  So after talking to my Daddy ( yes I still call him that!)  I realized he was not disappointed he was just NERVOUS and of course a little sad! 

I was his first born, first daughter, and my life and his was flashing before his eyes.  I was still his baby,  now I was having a baby.  There was no stability in my life as a job other than the little waitress job I went to and beauty school.  Jeremy and I did have a little home we rented from his grandparents and heck I cant even remember where he worked at the time.  He wasn't very fond of Jeremy ( I do know that) but mainly he was concerned about how involved he would be (Jer and I were not married).  The one thing I remember so clearly him saying to me.  " Amanda, I have raised you, I am not raising your children, this is a BIG responsibility.  I really want you to think about this." 

I thought to myself.  What is he possibly suggesting??  He wasn't, he just really wanted me to THINK.  I vowed to him that day that I would be the best parent I could be and that I would not just leave my children for fun and activities ( I am not stating that parents can not have fun, i am saying the every weekend going out stuff was not going to happen... you have to remember I wasn't even 21 yet)  and I was going to LOVE this baby with everything I had!  I would do everything to make him/her happy, safe, and loved. = the OVERPROTECTIVE part.  JHETT was born in November 2001 and forever changed every member of my family's lives.  He also is the twinkle in his Papa's eye. 

My parents have helped me and my husband over the last 18 months is raising our children while I had that dreadful job.  I am so thankful for the BOTH of them!! 

Mom, I know that I didn't speak much of you during this blog but I want you to know that I love you VERY much!  When I told my Mom the NEWS, she hugged me and kissed me and said " Everything is going to be GREAT"  Then she went shopping!  LOL!  She bought herself a ring....its her "Jhett RING"  A beautiful contemporary style sterling silver ring with a large Mother of Pearl in the center.  Someday I will give that to his wife... If she will allow me too...( I know you will) ;)

No more! Happiness only!

May 2010 was my last blog. I have been inspired lately by my many friends who have taken up this activity. It is a wonderful expression outlet so IM BACK!

The past 18 months have been the roughest time for me. I started my new job and priorities shifted. The ideas that I had for my family flew right out the door. Chaos struck our lives. Granit, we had more money, but I ask, "is it worth it?". My husband was stressed, I was depressed, my kids we behaving erratically and MY FAMILY was missing in action!

I missed FIRSTS! I cry at the thought of it! Is that me being selfish or just a loving parent? Jhia's first day of school missed for training. I observed through pictures. Jhak's first day of pre-k also viewed through pictures. For those of you that know me. That is NEVER what I wanted as a parent. I am hands on and completely involved. I missed parties, races, baseball games, dancing, masses and school programs and much more!

New years eve 2011 I spent in a tower ringing in the new year ALONE....crying. This is not the life for me. Only having this JOB for 4 months at that time....I KNEW I was not cut out for this.

This Christmas 2o12 was the first time I missed Christmas Eve at my husbands Grandmas in 13 years we have been together. That was it! I vowed to myself that I would not be at this profession very much longer. I WOULD NOT MISS ANOTHER SPECIAL EVENT!

It's March 20th, 2012, Iam happy to state that I officially put my 2 week notice in following my 6 week medical leave. Being home for the previous 6 weeks did it! Less stress around the home. I was actually having more patience and smiling, kids were happy and still being ornery but the feeling at home was much more enjoyable. My husband even though he hates to admit it was happier and able to focus on his business instead of juggling everything alone.

Things won't be easy I know life is not a piece of cake BUT I can do without the extras but I can't do without my family. Faith in the Lord our GOD, in my husband, in myself, and in my kids is all I need! Oh, and Love! I got this!

God bless!

Amanda <3